Questioning

Today I stopped at Bmom’s house and I asked her what her opinion would be IF we adopted again.  There is an agency in my state that is in desperate need of adoptive parents, specifically for black children. They only work in our state and if they don’t fill the demand, they will have to open up in other states, which is not what they want to do.  She knew that for baby #4 we were only going to be open to a biracial or african american child because we didn’t want Honey to be our only black child.  Then she found out she was expecting.  She knew our position and where we stood. When I asked her what she thought, she didn’t seemed shocked.  She said that she knew that’s what we wanted for baby #4 and knew we thought of Koala as a blessing, but she understood.  She said she felt like if God wanted us to have another child then we would.  Which was kind of my thinking as well.  You see, Honey is not a super confident child.  She is very much aware that she is different than the rest of her family.  We live in a diverse neighborhood, we are involved with the adoption community, have a multiracial playgroup, go to a diverse church, and her school is just the best.  But I know from everything I’ve read and all of the speakers I’ve gone to, that depending on the child’s personality, being different in a family can negatively impact that child for the rest of their life.  That is a very realistic fear I have for Honey.  I also feel tremendous guilt that we were not called on Honey’s half biological sibling (I know it’s God’s plan.  And I know there’s nothing I could have done differently). Not to say Honey is the only reason we would be adopting, I wanted 5 kids from the get go.  The Hubs wanted 3. And we had NO IDEA that, after becoming infertile, we would have our dream family. We would very much welcome and love another child, if we were so blessed.  At the same time I have some major fears.  I LOVE our relationship with the boys birthparents. They respect us as parents, they understand our views on things.  I don’t know that I will be so lucky again.  Would baby/ child #5 need therapies? We don’t have time to put into more therapies.  But I feel that God would give us the child that was meant to be, or not meant to be.  We aren’t going to keep our homestudy open forever.  In fact, we will not be renewing it.  So if we weren’t matched by a certain time, then I am ok with that.  Really, I am just writing to try to figure it out.

the zoo

My brother met us at the zoo… can you believe it? hahaha

When we go we see the same 5 animals every time. I’m sure you guys think that’s all our zoo has ahha.

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My cousin met up with us, for about 5 minutes, until her son was ready to go.

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on we went to our favorite part of the zoo. The bird house

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You cannot tell me they don’t look alike.

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It takes a lot to make this baby cry… like sneezing in his face. hahah

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Pumpkin asked me if she could get this pinecone, I said yes fully believing she wouldn’t be able to.  We sat there for about ten minutes until she was able to get it out.

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We got back when Honey came home (no comments about the helmet please)

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And Bear’s favorite, “driving” dad’s car

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A visit with Bmom and Bdad

When we first met with Bmom and Bdad we told them that they were adopting our family as well.  That they would also need to visit with our girls, especially Honey, and make sure not to have them feel left out.  Man, did they listen to me.  This is what I hoped for in our open adoption.  They spent just as much time playing with their sons as they did our girls. <3  This makes my heart extremely happy. I forced them downtown to one of our favorite parks and had a picnic.

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We got in trouble for coloring the sidewalk with chalk (seriously) and it was due to rain the next day.

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After lunch, we moved onto the playground.  Once again, Bmom and Bdad played just as much with our kids as they did theirs.

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Pumpkin wins the crazy face award

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The girls made a best friend, and she gave them both a headband (she had about 20 in her purse). and they were so cute together.

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AHHH Koala is seriously the happiest love

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Someone gave us a box of girl scout cookies and I opened them there.  ALL of the kids in the park had them.  They were gone in minutes.

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After the park we went on a walk to get donuts… mmm…. these donuts are the best!

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Pumpkin wanted her picture next to the rainbow garbage can. haha

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We tried to get a picture of the kids…. not so good

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And then this…

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Bear was exhausted and didn’t get a nap.  But he is just the sweetest.

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Father Daughter Dance

Pumpkin and Honey were supposed to go to the Father Daughter Dance together, but the anticipation was too much for Honey and she was much more relaxed after we told her she was no longer allowed to go. It worked out since Honey had two previous years to herself with dad. I like to volunteer during the dance because it’s the cutest thing watching these girls run around together and the dad’s following them.

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Random

This little Frenchie is such an awesome family dog.

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This little boy is a S.T.I.N.K.E.R. and he knows it. hahah He gets EVERYTHING he wants when we are at Nonna’s on Sunday.

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My siblings birthday

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Koala finally got his “piggy” bank. All of my kids have hand made banks and they are just too cute, but I really love this rat bank.

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brought to you by Bear.

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 Bear and E having a diaper exploration party.

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Pumpkin has preformed this dance a few times at school and I just can’t get over how cute she is with her little partner.

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Pumpkin and her best friend, S

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Picnic

I feel like I have zero time with Honey. It’s time to wake up, get ready for school, eat, school, dinner, bedtime routine, bed.  So I try to cherish all of our weekend time with her.  And it makes me so sad that this will be my reality for Pumpkin next year. I get to see her for about three hours out of the day. and two of those hours are eating.  When she got home from school we were waiting for dad in the car (honey gets home at 4:30, dad gets home 5ish) and went on a picnic.  We had pizza which lactose intolerant Bear LOVES. Sometimes we are good parents to him and scrape the cheese off.  Sometimes not.

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We live in a VERY diverse neighborhood. Which is super awesome.  But the neighborhood (well one of them) touching ours is mostly AA.  So this is now our go to park for quick little playground time.

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Honey is such a sweet and thoughtful sister.

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Milk drunk

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Quite possibly the cutest picture ever.

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Unfortunately there was only one other family there but I know that will change as it gets warmer.  The girls had a blast playing together.

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We stopped to pick up a movie but Honey and Bear were OUT! They don’t do well if we pass bedtimes. So it was just Koala and Pumpkin.

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Do you have a swaddeler baby? Have you tried the Woombie? If not, you are missing out.

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